I remember in my early reading and searching for anything cryptic pregnancy related I came across something from a woman who had been through one herself and she said " Whatever you do, do not tell anyone about your pregnancy." And I read that and I thought that's interesting, I mean surely I can tell my friends and my family, right? Well after 20 months into this pregnancy I realized, shit, she was right. Don't tell anyone, don't tell your parents, don't tell your friends, your aunt, your neighbor, please take it from me just don't tell anyone about it. When people asked me about gaining weight, I should have just said I was getting fat or I had a hormonal imbalance, anything because the shit that people are saying to me now is the stuff of nightmares. And I realize it is not their fault in many regards we are brainwashed by the medical world and there can be no deviation from that, but also the things they are saying to me now means that this whole time they have truly not listened to me or trusted what I was saying to them. And I think that is the part that cuts so deeply. I often think how much easier this whole process would be without the outside world, if I could just stay incubated in my little nest, just enjoying the process and learning from the process. Without the outside whispers or opinions on what I need to be doing and who I need to be seeing and that there must be something wrong. I hate that people can force their opinions on you and that's the be all and end all, especially when they have not been there for you throughout this process. Those that have been there throughout this process see what it is and understand that it does not fit a typical timeline and we just have to trust in the process. I hate that people project their pregnancy problems on you, "well I could never have babies naturally," "the doctor said my hips were too small and I needed a c-section", "my babies never moved to the birth canal", "I could never feel my babies move but at least I had ultrasounds all the time". Those were just a few that I heard in the last couple weeks and they say all of this to scare you and pass judgement. I have gotten to a good place mentally and really have been able to block out these things from invading my mental state. In the beginning of this I couldn't and I'm thankful that this pregnancy has taught me how to really do that because those things people said to me would have really shaken me up. So if you are just beginning this process please, please just listen to me and learn from me, don't tell anyone. Don't do it. You will be happy that you didn't. And if you need someone to speak with I'm here, you can always email me at [email protected] There is also an amazing midwife that has helped me out so much and she is a great resource. You can check her out here https://crypticpregnancytraditionalmidwifery.weebly.com Also this is the theme song for this post from some of my favorite people. "I don't need no one at night to tell me I'm all right" Maggie says it perfectly.
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