Isolation

Isolation seems to be a common thing with cryptic pregnancies. Sometimes it feels as though it is forced on you through misunderstandings of loved ones or beliefs that differ greatly about what is really going on with your pregnancy. But I also think at the heart of this and really any thing that one is going through is that you come to realize that this is on you and you alone. Whether it be cancer or cryptic pregnancy, you are in it everyday, not them, you are the one that must be proactive and do the best you can in the moment. You are alone and I am trying to think of it in  terms of this not being a bad thing but a place where I learn my most important and valuable lessons. 

This began for me when I was younger and dealing with things but it really took off for me when I had cancer. People support you and do runs and all of that, those things are really more for their conscience and being than anything else, but at the end of the day I realized that I am alone in this fight. I was the one that had to do it, not them, I was the one that was sick and I was the one that had to fight to get better. 

I think this is the same for cryptic pregnancy. I am the one that needs to take care of myself to get through this both mentally and physically. No one can do that for me and although this isolation at times can feel overwhelming I feel as though it as has also been a beautiful gift. It has allowed me to truly connect with myself without the noise of other people's opinions or thoughts in my head. Its about what I want and what I feel, so I will choose to look at this isolation as a gift.